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Dating & Romance

Japanese Lifestyle
Japanese society is quite openly erotic in some ways with massage parlours broadly advertising their soapy service. Yet on a personal level the Japanese are painfully shy and most of the time it will be up to you to make the first move. Kissing in public isn’t really on but there’s no shame in suggesting a visit to the nearest love hotel.

The love hotels themselves are a kind of neutral territory equipped with condoms, maybe mirrors and sex toys. Some even have outlandish décor such as medieval castles or Arabic harems. Figure on paying $60 for a night or half that for a two hours stay. You’ll be paying computerised staff anyway so as to cause less embarrassment to the clients.

Both Japanese men and women are heavily programmed by society as to their gender roles and this is something that is only changing slowly. If you’re looking for someone with independent spirit you’re best off looking for a girl or guy that has travelled.

The whole relationship thing is especially problematic for this painfully shy people. There even exist agencies to assist with the break-up process. In some cases a woman might be hired to seduce a husband and have photos taken with to be used as blackmail – then he’ll have no choice but to divorce his wife who was too afraid to say that’s what she wanted in the first place.

Japanese Girls

For some city girls dating a gaijin is something like having a life-size fashion accessory. There are clubs where Westerners and Japanese girls meet and the age range is usually set by the particular bar.

Most Japanese girls have been taught to be utterly submissive to the needs of the man and will often follow you around from room to room. They rarely express any real desire of their own beyond perhaps being bought something ‘kawaii.’

In bed Japanese women are famous for outrageous screams of orgasm even before sex has actually begun. Some have speculated that this stems from the performances of the porn actresses in a life-imitates-art kind of scenario. Whatever the reason it can be a little alarming the first time round when your girlfriend begins to shriek in ecstasy for no apparent reason.

Japan is a good opportunity for less-attractive Western men to score well. The Japanese have a rather different conception of what makes a good-looking Westerner and many guys can reinvent their sexual prestige here. Hence the cartoon “Charisma Man”:

Japanese Guys

Japanese men are famously reticent when dating and though they hold high-pressurized containers of emotion within, they’re too shy to ever express any of it. Many marriages sour because of the absolute lack of communication and the divorce is accepted with hardly a word.

Dating obsequious women all their lives, Japanese guys often haven’t developed a great deal of personal charm. On the other hand they can be very sweet and loyal which some women find makes a refreshing change.

Just don’t expect an honest answer to “How was it for you?” afterwards.

Learn more about love abroad in the World Dating Guide