On the Road

Dogs

Dogs are the most common threat to the traveler because they’ve been domesticated across the planet and are also often to be found surviving in the streets. Like their owners, dogs can often be neurotic, aggressive and paranoid, ready to defend whatever they perceive as their territory. Dogs are pack animals and recognize fear. Keep your cool and walk with authority and they’re less likely to challenge you.

A travel guide from the 18th century advised all travelers to carry a hat with them on the road; that way if attacked by a dog they could hold out the hat at arm’s length and when the dog took the bait it would be at perfect range for a good kick…

Road Junky is happy to give the traveller a tip that will protect you against attack from dogs almost anywhere in the world. When an aggressive dog is coming at you, simply bend down to the ground in a swift motion as though you were about to pick up a stone to throw at it.

Even if there aren’t any missiles there, go through the motions and the dog will recognise your intent and back off, snarling. This trick works in almost every scenario except, for some reason, the irritating small dogs like Jack Russels which will come and nip at your Achilles tendon no matter what you do.

If all else fails and you end up in hand to hand combat with a dog, go for its eyes. If that doesn’t work and it’s a life or death type thing, you can shove your hand down its throat and choke it to death. You’ll get chewed up in the process but once your arm is lodged inside, the jaws won’t be able to close properly and the dog will choke.

Then run for your rabies shot.