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Guantanamo Bay Holiday Camp Guide, Cuba

A holiday in the Caribbean is a vacation you’ll never forget. But where can a traveler go in these days where every hidden Paradise is overrun with tourism and development?

Well, you could join the hundreds of people around the world who’ve decided to spend an indefinite vacation at the Guantanamo Bay Holiday camp in Cuba! But don’t worry – it’s not the commie part – Guantanamo is on good old American soil, thanks to a treaty dating back to 1903. Did you know that the first president of Cuba was an American?

Of course, the secret is out and not a week goes by that some publication doesn’t mention Guantanamo Bay in passing, usually with an inexplicable recommendation to ‘shut it down’ – so best hurry and get your place quick!

The holiday camp of Guantanamo Bay is set in the South Eastern corner of Cuba and has natural protection against the hurricane season, making it a top destination for the adventurous traveler all year round. The fragrant waters of the Caribbean can be smelt from your bed (providing no joker let off the pepper spray that day) and you’ll come into close contact with a variety of exotic wildlife including rats, cockroaches, caterpillars, spiders and even the occasional excitement of a scorpion!

With holiday makers from 42 countries, Guantanamo Bay is a cosmopolitan vacation spot and when the camp entertainers (affectionately known as ‘guards’) aren’t insisting on silence, you’ll be able to trade stories from the road with a whole host of interesting people.

There are various camps to choose from with such cute names as Camp Delta, Echo and even Iguana! Sadly, Camp X-Ray had to be closed down due to malicious press reports about shoddy standards and customer dissatisfaction. Indeed, of the original 775 residents, over 300 have left and it’s anyone’s money who will be the last person left in the camp.

Yes, Guantanamo Bay is taking reality shows to the very next level – where no one except the people inside the ‘Big Brother Camp’ know what’s going on! And even then they’re prevented from getting an unfair advantage by waiting for weeks in solitary confinement until it’s their turn to talk to Big Brother, as the friendly American questioners are sometimes known.

Guantanamo Bay Holiday Camp is famous for never sleeping and, indeed, the lights are left on all night, often with accompanying heavy metal music. There are dogs to play with, hydro and electro therapy rooms and even the odd rumour about things getting kinky with the surprise quizzes – rumour has it the questioners are into a few chains and a little of the rough stuff…

Guantanamo Bay is an experience you’ll never forget, a little pocket of all that’s good about America, nestled in the Caribbean. So hurry up and book your place now!