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Health & Safety

Apart from the police and thieves in Goa, there are also many kinds of poisonous snakes around in the forest and paddy fields. When you walk through these be sure to stamp your feet and carry a torch at night – most snakes will flee if they hear you coming but the smaller kraits are too slow to move and you’ll need a hospital fast if they get you.

There are also some pretty mean jellyfish around from time to time. They seem to come in schools at certain points during the winter and then most people are too scared to go in the water. If you should get stung it’s good to piss on your sting or else use a local cucumber.

If you don’t know how to ride a motorbike don’t ride one. Hospitals in India are appalling and don’t count on people around you to be together enough to get you to a private clinic. Be especially careful on Enfield bikes that have an exhaust pipe that frequently burns people’s legs.

If you do get injured in a crash beware the local doctors who like to rip off your bandages along with the protective scab and do it all over again so they can rip you off as much as possible. Once you have a scab over you wound it just needs as much air as possible whilst being protected from the flies.

The well water is often good to drink in Goa but ask the locals first. Also, please observe well etiquette by never emptying water back down again. Drawing water from a well is one of the great pleasures of life.

Don’t fuck with the locals. The Goans are a patient bunch but at the end of the day it’s their territory and you are just a visitor. You have no rights. Be especially respectful to the motorbike taxi mafia.

The main thing is not to go insane in Goa. Take things as easily as possible and give yourself all the quiet and peace you need. Surround yourself with good people and take breaks from the party scene every now and then to get your balance back.

Road Junky

Road Junky specialises in provocative, off-the-cuff travel writing that isn't meant to be taken too seriously. Come and meet us in Morocco each winter for our Sahara Retreat.