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If you arrive with some kind of small gift your host’s initial doubts will be eased and they’ll welcome you with open arms. Whatever you give as a guest will always be returned tenfold.

Make every effort to charm all of your host’s friends and maybe you’ll get another invitation. It’s also an excellent way to make work and romance connections.

The soul of the house is the kitchen. Head immediately for the sink and insist that you actually enjoy washing up and all will be forgiven. But make a good job of it – otherwise the fussy variety of host may wait until you go to bed before creeping back to the kitchen to wash the plates again.

If you have money to buy food then nothing is more pleasing for your friends than to come back and find the refrigerator stuffed to the hinges. And if you’ve already prepared dinner by the time they return from work then they may think of converting the loft into a spare room on a permanent basis.

However, if you are broke then the best you can do is not to make any noticeable dent on the food supplies in stock. The golden rule is to never open anything new and never to finish anything either. Imagine the feelings of your host when they return to find that you’ve guzzled all their organic Turkish Delight.

The mess that you leave behind you is the evidence that will be held against you in court. Keep your belongings in an orderly pile and never leave, say, biscuit crumbs by the side of their new Apple Mac.

If you get past the first week okay then there’s a good chance you’ll manage a month. So try to become part of the house routine and be sure to spend a good deal of your time out of doors. No one wants to see you curled up on the sofa every time they turn around. If you seem busy and active then they’ll feel better about you being around.

Tom Thumb’s personal website
and you can find him on Facebook, too.

Bozo and the Storyteller

Imagine you, the room you’re in, the planet and everyone in it were all just a Story, figments of imagination in the mind of a Storyteller. But with Hoomanity set on self-destruction, the Storyteller’s health begins to fail and if he should die, what would become of the Story that he tells?

All hope for our world lies in the hands of a 9 year old boy and a foolish Bloon…

Buy on the Kindle

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