Cuba

A holiday Guatanamo Bay is many things for different people. For travelers, it’s a place where they can kick back and rest from the stresses of the road. For others it’s something akin to a meditation retreat with strong discipline and plenty of silence for deep contemplation. Whilst for others yet, it’s an important career move in their quest to join extremist Islamic movements – Guantanamo sure looks good on the resume!

Guantanamo is all this and more. In fact, few are aware of the luxurious health options offered by the spa, including ice cold showers alternating with extreme heat treatment – great for flushing out all those toxins. To make sure your mind gets the same cathartic treatment, the administration has come up with so-called ‘truth drugs’ to help you really get everything off your chest – but it makes playing 20 questions that much harder…

In fact, so intense is the administration’s interest in winning the question sessions that they hire behavioural psychologists to study you during the day. If they can get just that extra edge on your hopes and fears then maybe they’ll make you crack the next time they start with their posers.

If you have an interest in gardening, Guantanamo Bay is the kind of place where anything grows and the guests have shown their initiative and mischief by growing gardens in the mesh-wire chalets. They took the seeds from vegetables in their food and planted them in the ground by their cot. Have you ever heard of such ingenuity?

The guards also make Guantanamo a place where the fun never stops by occasionally playing heavy metal music (the camp that never sleeps!), throwing water bombs and even urinating through air vents – they’re such jokers!

It’s easy to fit in at Guantanamo and the spirit is very much that no one is better than anyone else. To that end the American administration has opted for uniform outfits for all: orange boiler suits and goggles to help you sleep at night – and all for free out of the bottom of their hearts.

Follow Road Junky on Twitter for live updates @roadjunky

Back to Top - More Cuba Articles - Print this page