Dublin

Population: 1.5 million.

Language spoken: English is spoken, but definitely not the way the queen intended it. The Dublin accent has two strains; the inner city rough and ready version and a softer suburban tilt. If in Dublin city centre and a man in a tracksuit approaches you, saying something like,

“Howieya, ya aw rite bud?” – don’t be alarmed, he merely wants to know how you are – although he may also ask if you wish to purchase anything illegal. The suburban accent is totally understood by everyone except Irish people from outside Dublin (also known as culchies). The culchies think the Dubs have delusions of grandeur and their faux posh accent is a hallmark of this delusion. On the city centre buses and road signs all place names appear in two languages; Irish and English, but everyone refers to them by their English version.

Race: It’s well know that the Dubs are directly descended from the Vikings who landed in the city around 988AD – this explains the brutish behaviour, penchant of odd head gear and harsh accents (see above) of the locals. More recently Dublin has become very attractive for countless immigrants from Eastern Europe, Asia and the Middle East. These days the city is very much a melting pot.

Economy: They don’t call Ireland the Celtic Tiger for nothing and as the capital of this thriving economy; Dublin is its shining example of success. Many believe its streets to be paved with gold, well at least the Polish and Romanian gypsies do. Everyone else can see they are clearly lined with fallen leaves and cigarette butts.

Government: Populated as it is by blaggards and gombeens, the Irish government or Dail Eireann, to give it its Irish name, is a noble institution, as young as it is corrupted. The building itself is located on Dublin’s Dawson Street and is known as Leinster House. It is picketed daily by farmers, pro-lifers, nurses or any number of various groups who now considered themselves impoverished by Ireland’s raising living standards. The government has become very astute at ignoring them.

Visas: Most nationalities can enter Ireland for up to three months without a visa. For guidelines on visa requirements, visit www.justice.ie.

Work permits: The short of it is this: EU citizens and Irish citizens and people from Norway, Iceland and Liechtenstein need no work permits. Everyone else does. The up-to-date rules and regulations concerning work permits can be found at www.dfa.ie.

There are two types of Work Permits –

1. The standard Work Permit. The standard Work Permit allows you to work in Ireland for only 1 year at a time. It costs your employer money and hassle to file for this. Your employer has to apply for a standard work permit for you.

2. The much more desirable Working Visa or Work Authorisation. This second category is for people with certain high-end skills much in demand here. These in-demand jobs are computer professionals, construction engineers, architects and surveyors and all sorts of medical positions.

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