What do you call a Liverpudlian in a suit?
Liverpool may have produced the Beatles and Manchester the worlds most famous football team but those are scarcely reasons for actually visiting the places. Whilst the cities do actually have a good deal more humour and wit then some of the industrial towns in northern England – it’s grim up north – Liverpool and Manchester are as depressing places as you’re likely to find anywhere.
To begin with, the scousers (the inhabitants of Liverpool, so named after a truly revolting sauce called scouse) and the Mancunians are renowned for being incorrigible scallywags and conmen. Take Bez, the Freaky Dancing guy from the Happy Mondays who used to take a pork pie into a pub, ask for a sip from a friend’s beer and then cough a mouthful of crumbs into the glass – which he naturally ended up inheriting.
But whilst the locals can be entertaining on a good day, the weather is shit, heroin is epidemic (but meth is catching on) and you’ve got a better chance of thugs putting you in hospital for no apparent reason than in any other part of England – and that’s saying something.