England

England is famous for having food worse than its weather and it may well account for the national cynicism and sarcastic sense of humour. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and the British Empire may have conquered the world just to look for a decent cook. Seriously, imagine what food must have been like before the spice routes were established.

The English looted around a billion pounds from India but, most importantly, they set the precedent for Indian immigration and the introduction of curry to the British diet. Today, curry is the national food, eaten more than any other dish and it’s finally possible to eat something interesting.

There do exist good, traditional English recipes but in general they require that you like to have your vegetables boiled to death and your meat served with things like mint sauce.

Nor do they tend to err on the lighter side of nutrition either. A typical English breakfast would be:

Slices of white bread covered with thick vegetable margarine

Processed beans from a can

Eggs fried until they turn to rubber

Sausage from some anonymous animal

Fried bacon

Fried mushrooms

And if you’re really lucky, black pudding – an English delicacy of baked blood.

The pasty complexion of the English can well be understood by the amount of saturated, processed fat they’ve traditionlly consumed. A favourite meal up north is a ‘chip butty’ – chips in a bread and butter sandwich.

Or think of the dessert common to chip shops in Newcastle, the deep-fried Mars Bar. We’re serious.

Fortunately, the waves of immigration and the rise of the health food shops has made it possible to eat well in England. These days it’s common for people to cook Indian, Italian or even Chinese food, though no Italian would agree to eat pasta cooked by an English cook.

You can buy ingredients for world cuisine in most health food shops or supermarkets, just don’t expect too much at the local bakery or fish and chip shop.

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