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The Pope is to Be Arrested For Crimes Against Humanity!

if Richard Dawkins gets his way…

No, we’ve already had our April Fool’s joke this year, the new atheist celebrities, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens really are paying good money to lawyers to get the Pope arrested when he visits England in September.

His crimes?

Well, if condemning more millions of Africans to death from AIDS by telling them that condoms don’t work wasn’t reason enough, Dawkins and Hitchens want to get the Pope tried for his cover-up on the legions of paedophile priests that have been making the lives of children a misery for centuries.

The Pope claims immunity from ever being tried as he’s in theory a head of state (is there a Lonely Planet guide to the Vatican?) but the lawyers reckon they can get around that and will do their best to see Benedict the XVI behind bars where he belongs.

Of course with all the law in the world on their side there’s no way such a thing can happen. Italy Spain and possibly even Ireland would declare war on Britain, there would be riots on the streets of New York and even if the Pope were ever deposed – well, there’s always another one waiting to pop up.

The fact is, where faith is involved, people’s spiritual identity is tied up with it, too. Take the example of Sinead O’Connor who tore up a picture of the Pope on American TV some years ago in her stand against the cover-ups on child abuse in Catholic churches. A few nights later she wasn’t allowed to sing at the Bob Dylan tribute concert by the crowd who booed and hissed until she really gave it to them.

But as long as we’re going after international figures who are guilty of crimes against humanity, why stop with the Pope? Road Junky has put together a very incomplete list:

– George Bush (War on Terror Iraq and Afghanistan)

– Tony Blair (War on Iraq and Afghanistan)

– Vladamir Putin (Chechnya)

– Henry Kissinger: (carpet bombings of Cambodia)

– Rupert Murdoch (controlling the minds of the world through his media empire, for example on the war on Iraq)

– the heads of all the tobacco companies (around 5 million deaths a year)

– the companies profiting from the destruction of rain forests (we’re going to need the lungs of the planet one day)

God, we could go on but luckily the new wave of atheists are there to be angry and litigious for us…